Sometimes A Girl Just Needs Her Big Sister

It's almost been 3 years and Bekah still hasn't come back. As time has gone by, things have gotten a little easier and God has blessed me with an amazing husband who is so supportive, encouraging, and who truly is my best friend. But sometimes, a girl just needs her big sister. I needed the best friend in my big sister yesterday!

Since Bekah passed away, I've found myself getting envious of my friends who have sisters. When I see them writing each other on Facebook or hanging out together, it brings back memories and it makes me a little jealous. I think, "I want that back!" It hurts me to see sisters arguing or fighting with each other too. It makes me want to shake them and say, "REALIZE!! You still have them here! Treasure them!" If I wanted to be a looney, perhaps I could do that but God has taught me so much through Bekah being home in Heaven and moments like that make me appreciate the sweet relationship I had with her.

When I was younger, I could never have imagined that Rebekah and I would have been such good friends. I'm glad I was wrong! I remember spending an entire summer with her after a bad break up. She just let me come and stay with her, eat her food, sleep in her bed every night with her even though she had a guest room, and let me do pretty much whatever I wanted. We had the best time together that summer! She was such an incredible giver and never asked for anything in return! I miss the times when I could just call her on the phone and talk about nothing. I'm saddened when I have that urge and can't do it. I had a moment like that yesterday.

While talking to Jeremy, Tabitha called him and we got off the phone. I thought to myself, "I want to call my sister." Of course, I couldn't but I still wanted to talk to a sibling so I called JR, my brother. He was unaware that I was getting sad and I wasn't going to tell him. There are funny differences between JR and I because he's not much of a talker, especially on the phone, and I am to an extent. So when I called, the conversation was short but I was glad I got to talk to him for a minute. He wouldn't know it unless he reads this but sometimes I call just to call because I need him. Sometimes I call because I'm missing my Bekah and sometimes just because I want what me and Bekah had with my big brother. I've been blessed with an incredible family that's full of love! I have such a great sister-in-law in Tabitha, who sometimes reminds me of Bekah with her sweet and caring spirit. God brought Home a treasure in Bekah but He's shown so many more treasures in people around me.

As much as I miss her and as much as I just need my big sister sometimes, I'm glad God knows better than I do. I'm thankful that He's placed people in my life who can uplift and encourage me when I'm feeling down and sad. I do miss Bekah A TON, more than can be said or written, but I'm confident that she's Home and that she's so happy for me and for the family she loved so, so much!